The Noseworthy Twins

I opened the doll cabinet, and inquired if anyone would like an interview. On the European side, Hither and Yon, the Noseworthy twins, jumped at the chance. They said their bums were getting rather tired sitting day after day.

The interview commenced henceforth:

Me: So, which one is Hither, and which one is Yon?

Hither: I'm Hither, Oi'm the one wit the creme beld on. Oim the lahger of we two, as oi was bohn fihst. I guess oi goht mohr fish n chips, riht Yon? Uh, she's Yon.

Yon: Tha's me

Me: I would like to get your take on Britain and America. You've been to both continents, so do you mind if I ask you a few question our audience is burning to know?

Hither: Roit, we would be hahpy to ablige ye.

Yon: Roit.

Me: Regarding bathing, I have heard that your plumbing is not quite up to our standards. How do you get around that?

Hither: Oww, we were raysed wit the phrase, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness." We were bathed twice a week back ome in Livehpool. Mumm was quite a fenetic aboud thaht one.

Me: Liverpool? So, you know the Beatles then? LOL

Yon: Ow, wehn't they the cute boyz Mumm took us to see on the beach tha time we weh in Blackpoohl on Oliday?

Hither: Ow, youh quy rye, Yon. Mumm wahnted that Oliday because Dahd was drivin er mahd!

Yon: Riht, an they were pradin aroun in their skivies.

Hither: I thot they were cute...... I didn't mean the skivies..... (she blushed)

Me: Okay. I guess you met the Beatles. Now, back to the interview. What kind of schooling did you two have?

Hither: Oh, very proper schooling, ow yes. We were aways taught to put a T on the end oh each sentence witout question. 

Yon: Ow yes, aways a T.

  Hither: An music was  vewy lahge pahT of our day.

Me: Do you remember, "Sing When You Are Happy?

Hither: Owwwww!! I remembeh thahT one! sing a lih'l sing when you ah appy. The birds ahl do.

Yon: The bihds ahl do. When thehr......

Hither: When theyr arts r glad they tell iT.

Me: OK, you remember that song very well. Now, how about golf? Are you surprised it's taken over as the #1 singles sport in America? Well, maybe being twins, you don't care about a single's sport? heh heh

Hither: Ow, I love the spoht. It's invigoratin, and the muscles it creates...

Yon: An the bahls....

Me: Yes.....well, how about tea? Americans love their tea now...

Hither: Ow, we do love ouw tea! But Eahl Grey is the besT! 

Yon: I don't think theh's any Eahl Gray ere.

Hither: Well, let's noht quibble aboud iT. We can open up ouh minds and experience a bold neew wohld.

Yon: Buh, I wand some Eahl Gray.

Hither: Hush now.

Me: Uh, yes, and what's your take on child rearing?

Hither: Ow, I've nevah ad a baby, ave you, Yon?

Yon: No, I've nevah ad a baby....

Hither: Wewl, I just don know then.....

Me: Okay then, is there anything I didn't cover?

Hither: No, good-bye.

Yon: G-bye