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Monday, February 21, 2011

Our First President

George Washington couldn't tell a lie......or could he? We all heard his claims, "Father, I did NOT cut down the cherry tree." So, would it count then, if he actually cut down the raspberry tree? because I know for a FACT that he did. I have the photos to prove it.

It's rumored his Mother wanted to bake a political pie. And actually, Channel 5 news caught this photo  just minutes before George went for his ax. No wonder he didn't remember his heinous act!

And then of course, we all know the story about Washington crossing the Delaware for the American Revolution. Well, I hear tell, ol' Georgie boy didn't do it for the Red Coats. He crossed to go to The Purple Swine Bar and Pub on the other side of the river to drink a pint with his cronies. I know this for a FACT, I have the photos to prove it!

And wouldn't you know, when he went to Joe's, look who was hanging out with the guys? Tintinabulla. Martha was home quilting away at the weekly sewing bee with Betsy Ross, making our flag, and here is George, stitching up some trouble.....and I have the photo to prove it!

  And listen up people, what about the rumors of a One World Government? Rumors, schmoomers, it's FACT George and his pals were hanging out with the Free Masons, doing a little chinking work in the secret basement chambers. As you can see, I have the photos to prove it...

 Really George, in this day in age, you can't hide from the pervasive press. Wooden teeth, my eye, we have proof that you really had wooden arms!

If all of this isn't bad enough, I have the photos to PROVE George's participation in group Toga parties.
 Still, George, we love you and will remember you forever as our fist president. Take comfort in the fact that you weren't around for the World News Report, 60 Minutes or CNN.
"This is Nancy Erickson Dutmer reporting live from the doll cabinet." Goodnight Chet...

   Goodnight Betsy...

     Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, where ever you are!

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