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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Toilet Training

I felt it was time for the three boys to learn some toilet training. After all, being without pants, diapers or undies, one is susceptible to tinkling where ever one wishes. So, I took the three of them, Peter, Dinky and Willy, to our pot.

Unfortunately, as I was teaching them the "sink the boat" concept, they were all a little overwhelmed at the austerity of a giant loo.

 Luckily for them, I happened to have 3 small potties just their size!

Willy chose the "stand-like-a-big-boy-and-urinate" method, only his legs were too short. Matchboxes are great  tools to have handy.

Peter chose the "sit-n-pee". 

His hardest challenge was to actually get his water in the toilet. He has a powerful stream!

Dinky chose to use the "balance-with-your-strange-pointed-head-and-squirt" method. 
After all, if you were created with a tinkle squeezing helmet, you might as well put it to use! I found Dinky to be the most successful of the three.

However, just when I thought we were making some headway, they all pulled away from their throne's and made their way to the closest plant. Running and squealing as little boys do, they hopped to the base of the miniscule tree, and ceremoniously forced out their last drops, with an itty-bitty shake and wag. 

I guess it just goes to show you, you can lead a horse to water, but if it's a boy, you'd be better off leading it to a tree. 

Monday, May 30, 2011

Mary Poppins Goes on a Trip Part 2.

As promised, M. P. took an array of photos of her wondrous trip to Iowa!! She ate, drank, danced, boated and visited points of interest like the Jolly Green here:

At 9:30 AM, Friday morn, Mary Poppins packed her carpet bag and drove off in style in a 1999 Ford Taurus.
Here she is with her driver.

Eager to get to her destination, she didn't want to stop at all the fascinating spots along the way, so she made pretty good travel time to Lake Okoboji.
 She checked into her motel room, and geared up for her exciting get-away!

Here's lunch!

Finally, as evening approached, a toast to our winner, Mary Poppins, was announced and then the  music started! 
As impressed as people were with her prize winning hat, she tore it off so she could get down and boogie with the array of guests invited to share in Mary's big night.
Here she is literally leaping onto the dance floor. You would not believe it to look at her, but she could dance!!

And boy could she drink!

As all good things come to an end, I had to pour her into bed. Since there's got to be a morning after,  she awoke 8:15 AM, a bit foggy, but eager to get back home. 

You know our Mary...a spoon full of sugar, and spit spot, she was up, dressed, her bags were packed and she was heading for the car; a time well spent in Iowa.

Ms. Poppins would like to thank the sponsors of her amazing weekend events, and particularly, send out a BIG thanks to the person who voted her hat the undisputed winner of her royal highness, the Queen's,  Hat Parade!

Sunday, May 29, 2011


 I named this doll Peg in reference to the joke, "What do you call a girl with a wooden leg?" Peg is all wood, but not in the Pinocchio-I-want-to-be-a-real-boy style.

Peg is doll with a heart. She would go out on a limb for you, if you ever felt cut down. Yet, she's no sap.  Her family has deep roots in Tamarack, France. Her parents told her she could not see the wood for the trees, but Peg knew she would be out of the woods if she could just transplant to America.
After her arrival stateside, she was in the thicket of action. Never accused of a wooden personality, Peg rose to the top of the tree, as she made her way across America.
Sometimes she felt she was just lumbering along, but her friends encouraged her growth. In fact, Peg would grow on you if you were to meet her. She has so much pluck, she can run rings around you.
Peg was pruned for the musical saw, and clogging. Yet, she pines to learn Topiary and to marry a spruce man who will never make her cut back her deepest desires.
She's a peach alright,  the cherry on top of the sunday!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Hokey Comes Home

Remember Hokey, who went out to Death Valley, and wasn't heard from again?

He came back. Although, I may be the only person around who knows it. I went to the Red Barn Theatre to work on a theatrical set I am building. While I was there, I thought I had heard some wee little snore, but it was so miniscule, I didn't give it another thought. Yet, as I was packing up to go, I saw him. Laying on a barn rafter.

I squinted through the din calling out, "Hokey? Is that you?"
I heard a low down-on-your-luck mumble, "Mmm-hmmm."

"What happened?" asked I?

Apparently, Hokey was having a gay ol time in Death Valley, when an ex of Ragtime Lil's hunted him down. Remember Lil and Hokey had quite a hoe-down fling going on....

Penniless, heart broken and, come on TINY and squishable, Hokey knew not~what to do, so he hitched a ride on the Loco Q (that's a train, not a mule), and thumbed it the rest of the way home. Being of western heritage, Hokey decided the best place to hide out would be a barn. First, he slept out in the dandelions.

But spring rains kept washing him down the gully, so he climbed through a knothole in the silo.

And crawled to the nearest post, and that's where he fell, exhausted, and went to sleep. That's where I came in!
I told him to come home and visit the other dolls on Granny's couch and he let me whisk him up; I gave him one last look at the barn, and we travelled home.

All his cousins were delighted to see him home again. I told them in his honor, I would make baked beans and hard tack! Later, he can wrestle a squirrel to the ground and then there'll be a real feast! Oh
 Home on the Range!!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Mary Poppins Goes on a Trip

Mary Poppins was the one and only, hands down, people's choice for our mock Royal Wedding Hat Parade,
and today, the winner gets to go on a fabulous all expenses paid trip across Minnesota to IOWA!!!!!

Her carpet bag is packed and I hope she left the giant plant, floor lamp, carpet, dishes and medicine at home! Yes, here she is, our royal flush, the winner extraordinaire (there was only one vote)....
                          Mary Poppins!!!!
Oh it's a lovely holiday with Mary, 
Mary makes you feel so light. 
When the day is grey and ordinary...
Mary makes the sun shine bright!

And I HOPE so, or what a poopy weekend it will be. Mary will check back after the weekend to let you know how she enjoyed her trip.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Blondes

Is it true blondes have more fun? They say when in Rome, do what the Roman's do, so I gathered some of the blondes in the doll cabinet and I asked them the age old question.

Me: Ok, who wants to start?

Superstar: I'm in the front, so I should start.

Me: Okay, is it true blondes have more fun? 

Superstar: What do you mean?

Me: I mean.... tell me your most fun time...

Superstar: When I got to try on these awesome platform shoes, and gee, like they just fit, and gosh, like I got to keep them for always! 

Me: Good. Next. Oh, Peter, the New Years baby.
Peter: My mostest fun was peeing outside for the first time!

Me: How cute, what a visual. Thanks. Next.

Grandma Perky/Apple Head: I want to go, I want to go!

Me: Go ahead.
Grandma Perky: I went for a walk one time this spring and I saw a rabbit, two squirrels and a little dog.

Me: And....what made that more fun than anything?

Grandma P: Well, that's about as far back as I can remember, so that IS the most fun I've had.... and I didn't wet myself.

Peter speaks up: I didn't wet myself either!

Me: My, isn't this going well? NEXT! 
How about the new girls? Peg?

Peg: Yes?

Me: Is it true blondes have more fun?

Peg: More fun than what?

Me: Never mind. Pretty Doll, would you care to go next? I see you removed your LOVELY bonnet to show off your BEAUTIFUL blonde hair. So, do you think it's true blondes have more fun?

Pretty Doll: What's fun?


Me: Okay folks, we have one more contingent. She is also new to the blog, but she is one of the infamous "capsule" dolls. From Holland, right sweety? Uh, Gretchen is it?
Gretchen: Oh yah!

Me: I almost hate to ask, but what would be the most fun you've ever had. Let's see if it proves that blondes have more fun.

Gretchen: Oh, my, we have oodles of fun in Amsterdam. We slide cross the fiords in our clogs, and go slippety slippety slushy slushy slide...and sometimes we do it in the winter too! Peater is so funny wit the snowballs and tulips, he makes me laugh and laugh, and then when we run to da windmills, our bonnets fly off and our skirts go over our heads. We laugh and laugh, and Peater with the tulips and da snowballs is such a funny boy, we laugh and laugh. Oh yes, we have more fun in da Netherlands than anyone!

Me: Okay, thanks Gretch. Well, that just about proves it doesn't it folks? Blondes may NOT have more fun, but obviously drugs are legal in the Netherlands.
Next time we will ask the age old question: How many yaks can we fit in a Volkswagen.

Gretchen: Oh, I know I know, and it's really funny..we laugh...and laugh....

Me: Singing off now.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Fast Breaking News-Granny Goodknitter

Update on Granny Goodknitter:
She noticed some female patterned baldness coming on, so a visit to the doctor was scheduled.

After a thorough check up, he declared her uterus is tipped 
(she HAS had 14 children). 
Now she is stuck in bed on her back....again...
 (which is how she got in this situation in the first place!!!), 
and the doctor is trying to figure out how to get her back on her feet. 

He says they have to figure a uterus counterbalance to tip her upright, or they may have to go in there and remove....

Her knitting needles and spool.