The interview commenced henceforth:
Me: So, which one is Hither, and which one is Yon?
Hither: I'm Hither, Oi'm the one wit the creme beld on. Oim the lahger of we two, as oi was bohn fihst. I guess oi goht mohr fish n chips, riht Yon? Uh, she's Yon.
Yon: Tha's me
Me: I would like to get your take on Britain and America. You've been to both continents, so do you mind if I ask you a few question our audience is burning to know?
Hither: Roit, we would be hahpy to ablige ye.
Me: Regarding bathing, I have heard that your plumbing is not quite up to our standards. How do you get around that?
Hither: Oww, we were raysed wit the phrase, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness." We were bathed twice a week back ome in Livehpool. Mumm was quite a fenetic aboud thaht one.
Me: Liverpool? So, you know the Beatles then? LOL
Yon: Ow, wehn't they the cute boyz Mumm took us to see on the beach tha time we weh in Blackpoohl on Oliday?
Hither: Ow, youh quy rye, Yon. Mumm wahnted that Oliday because Dahd was drivin er mahd!
Yon: Riht, an they were pradin aroun in their skivies.
Hither: I thot they were cute...... I didn't mean the skivies..... (she blushed)
Me: Okay. I guess you met the Beatles. Now, back to the interview. What kind of schooling did you two have?
Hither: Oh, very proper schooling, ow yes. We were aways taught to put a T on the end oh each sentence witout question.
Yon: Ow yes, aways a T.
Hither: An music was vewy lahge pahT of our day.
Me: Do you remember, "Sing When You Are Happy?
Hither: Owwwww!! I remembeh thahT one! sing a lih'l sing when you ah appy. The birds ahl do.
Yon: The bihds ahl do. When thehr......
Hither: When theyr arts r glad they tell iT.
Me: OK, you remember that song very well. Now, how about golf? Are you surprised it's taken over as the #1 singles sport in America? Well, maybe being twins, you don't care about a single's sport? heh heh
Hither: Ow, I love the spoht. It's invigoratin, and the muscles it creates...
Yon: An the bahls....
Me: Yes.....well, how about tea? Americans love their tea now...
Hither: Ow, we do love ouw tea! But Eahl Grey is the besT!
Yon: I don't think theh's any Eahl Gray ere.
Hither: Well, let's noht quibble aboud iT. We can open up ouh minds and experience a bold neew wohld.
Yon: Buh, I wand some Eahl Gray.
Hither: Hush now.
Me: Uh, yes, and what's your take on child rearing?
Hither: Ow, I've nevah ad a baby, ave you, Yon?
Yon: No, I've nevah ad a baby....
Hither: Wewl, I just don know then.....
Me: Okay then, is there anything I didn't cover?
Hither: No, good-bye.