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Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Queen's Amnesty Day

While pouring herself a lively cocktail one pleasant day, Queen Elizabeth declared amnesty for all Scots, in honor of Rob Roy (the Queen's favorite libation).

On this momentous occasion, she insisted on a plaid parade. All the well dressed Brits, Scots and even "THOSE Irish", attended.

Right off the bat there is MacGregor Stewart Ross McBain sporting a typical Stewart plaid, on his rousing bagpipe. He is also donning a Rose plaid upon his stylish kilt and swag.
Not a shy Scotsman, MacGregor pushed his way to the front of the amnesty line in order to partake with the Queen when she pours her first 5 o'clock cocktail!

Next up, is the Queen's own faithful man servant, Horace Wilky

He's wearing a Johnston plaid. To quote Horace, "You don't have to call me Johnston!"

After Horace is a new girl. She is a true Scottish Lassie, named Bonnie Gunn. 

Bonnie, dressed in full kiltie regalia is wearing a Royal Stewart plaid, and she's not real happy about it, as you can see. The Gunns and Stewarts have a long running tribal feud, yet her dear Great Auntie was a Gunn and a Stewart (illegal cousin marriage), and thought the Queen's amnesty might be a smart way to end the riff.

Sauntering in after Bonnie is our old pal, Scotty, the Scot who wanted to experience St. Patrick's Day.
Scotty's kilt and socks are of the Erskine lineage. (He too is anxiously awaiting a Rob Roy).

Another of the Queen's personal guards backed up Scotty, just to make sure the blinkin' Scotsman didn't get out of line. After all, how could you trust a Scot who went out on St. Patrick's Day? This guard, whom we shall call Number One, is wearing a MacEwen plaid, which must incorporate the Queen's favorite colors, as all her proper guards are wearing it.

Rounding out the parade are the British twins, The Noseworthy's, Hither and Yon.
Me: What plaid are you girl's wearing today?
Hither: Oim not quite sure...what did Mum say about this garb, Yon?
Yon: Oim not quite sure either, sweety. I think it's  blend of MacNaughton and Ogilvie, with a bit o' Drummand and Perth, rounded out by a smidge of MacAlister.
Me: Are these Queen approved plaids?
Hither: Oh yes! Mum bought them at the Queen's garage sale! It was right after that poor incident with tha dear, sweet Princess Diana.

(Me in my mind: The queen's garage sale?)

Anyway. ...that sums up the first annual (?) Amnesty Rob Roy Plaid Parade, and now, we are all popping off to the local pub to show off our good hearted spirits and partake in some good hearted spirits, as well. 


1 comment:

  1. this was almost better than watching Braveheart :)